We want it. We strive for it. We envy others who have it. We can see it just beyond the horizon …as soon as we get richer, thinner, married, divorced, younger, older, find a dream job, or quit a lousy one.
Yet, how many people do you know who “have everything” and still yearn for true happiness? The kind of happiness I'm talking about is that kind that comes from within and is not based on status, position, wealth, or possessions. It's a natural resource that is readily available to all. Happiness is a choice.
It had previously been thought that the brain is unchanged by life experiences. Recent breakthroughs in psychology, neurology, and chemistry have revealed that Happiness is attainable, and the brain can actually change as a result of conscious selection of thoughts.
Experts in the field have given Happiness a nickname -- “subjective well-being.” One person's Hell may be Paradise for another. For example, bungee jumping would be sheer torture for me to endure. For a thrill-seeker friend of mine, this activity represents ultimate joy. Clearly our set points are based on different subjective criteria.
Each of us is born with a genetically coded happiness “set point” which is not based entirely on what happens to us. This explains why some people are naturally cheerful most of the time, while others walk around with a permanent scowl on their faces – determined in part by their genetic predisposition. However, according to University of Minnesota professor emeritus of psychology David Lykken, “Happiness is genetically influenced, although it is not genetically fixed. The brain's structure can be modified through practice. If you really want to be happier than your grandparents provided for in your genes, you have to learn the kinds of things you can do, day by day, to bounce your set point up and avoid the things that bounce it down.”
A study conducted with identical twins raised in different environments suggests that an individual's set point determines about 50% of their disposition to Happiness. In other words, some people are happy , regardless of their less-than-ideal circumstances, while others are unhappy , even when they seem to “have it all.”
According to Ed Diener, a professor of psychology at the University of Illinois and coeditor of the Journal of Happiness Studies , a number of tools can be used to raise subjective well-being. Here are some examples:
·Getting enough sleep
·Getting enough exercise
·Nurturing close relationships -- connection, physical touch
·Maintaining an optimistic outlook – choosing positive thoughts
·Keeping a gratitude journal
·Forgiving others and letting go
·Put on a happy smile!
Even in the midst of hardship, one can experience simple pleasures by using some of the tools listed above.
快乐是选择每个人都想快乐。我们追求快乐。我们嫉妒拥有快乐的人。当我们变得富裕或苗条,当我们经历了结婚或离婚,当我们变得年老或年轻,找到梦想中的工作或辞掉不适的工作,……我们能看见幸福就在眼前。
是的,你见过多少拥有一切,却渴望真正快乐的人?我所说的幸福是来自内心的幸福,而绝非建立在地位、职务、财富或财产之上的。它是每个人都能拥有的最自然的精神财富。因为幸福是一种选择。
先前人们认为,人的智力不会因生活的经历而改变。然而最近来自心理学、神经学和化学的突破成就揭示着幸福是可以获得的,人的智力实际上也可以根据思维的自觉选择结果而改变。
这方面领域的专家给幸福起了个外号叫“主观存在”。一个人的地狱可以成为另外一个人的天堂。例如,蹦极对我来说是一个难以忍受的极度折磨。而对于寻求刺激的我的一个朋友来说,这项运动是无限的乐趣。很明显,我们的出发点建立在不同的主观标准。
我们每个人生来带着已经遗传编码的幸福出发点,它们建立在一切发生在我们身上的事情上。这可以解释为什么有一些人是在大多数时间里是自然心情愉快的,而其他有一些人脸上带着那固有的怒视---这部分受他们由基因决定的易患病的体质。
根据Minnesota 大学心理学教授David Lykken的话,“幸福是受基因影响的,虽然它并不是完全稳定的。大脑的结构在生活实践的过程中被修改。如果真的想比基因能够提供的程度还要快乐,那你得必须学会做一些事情。日复一日,来提高你的出发点,避免那些使你感到不快的事情。” 一个涉及在不同环境下成长的一对同卵双生双胞胎的研究表明:个体的视角出发点决定50%的乐天性格。也就是说,一些人是快乐的,无论他们所处的环境如何;相反,一些人是不快乐的,尽管他们看上去拥有一切。
据Illinois大学心理学教授兼幸福学说期刊编辑 Ed Diener所表示,提高主观意识并不是没有办法。以下是若干例子。
1. 保证充分的睡眠。
2. 保证充分的运动。
3. 培养亲密关系----通过联系或肌肤接触。
4. 保持乐观向上的态度----选择积极的想法
5. 坚持写包含感激的日记。
6. 宽恕他人并忘记不好的事情。
7. 脸上始终带着微笑。无论是在多么难以煎熬的时期,通过这些方法,我们可以感受简单的快乐。
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